Mabon

As summer turns to autumn we finally reach the point where the days from here on in will be shorter than the night. The curtain begins to fall on the year that is slowly tending towards its end and it gives us an opportunity to reflect on what has gone before.

Modern pagans mark the autumn equinox in a festival called Mabon. It's a festival of thanksgiving for the blessings we've had this year and to think about the year ahead.

It's named after a welsh mythological god who is the child of light and son of Modron, The Earth Mother Goddess. It's a new festival really but I still like the idea of a time of thanksgiving as the summer light wanes both to celebrate the past and reflect on the future.

If you're going to celebrate it properly it's really a festival similar to American thanksgiving with lots of food and generosity. This year though I think a more quite reflection was in order. Apples have symbolic meaning at this time of year as a marker of the harvest that has come. Some people use them as a way of quietly celebrating Mabon. You can pour your thanks and trauma into one and eat it. This symbolises it forming part of you and being dealt with and finished. With another you speak your hopes and fears for the coming year and bury it nourishing the earth and hoping the earth gives balance to your life in return. This quiet reflection and working with nature speaks quite powerfully to me and fits nicely with where I feel my soul at the moment.

I've spoken a lot about my trauma so I am not going to go over that again but I wanted to stop and give thanks for the past year and the things I'm grateful for.

I feel very fortunate to have a loving with and family. I am so grateful to Clare for all the support and love she has given me as I've moved forwards in my journey of transition. I love our cats and the warmth and unassuming care they provide. They seem to know when we need their love and soothing balm and give it freely when we need it.

I'm grateful to have a secure job and roof over my head. I know this may sound twee but there are many people who don't have that and in this time of uncertainty I feel incredibly lucky to be in that position at the moment.

I love the work I've bene doing with Ellis, my therapist, around learning self-compassion and self worth. I feel the shoots of that work coming through and it is liberating. I hope that I can see that develop more over the next year.

I'm thankful that I have made steps towards becoming the person I've always wanted to be both physically and mentally. That is a long and winding journey that is nowhere near complete but it is wonderful to have made a start.

I have so much more to be thankful for but that's a little insight into what I've been reflecting on this Mabon.

Maybe you'd like to think about what you're thankful for for the past year too? I know it's been a tough year for many but finding the shards of light in the darkness occasionally helps us to reset and rebalance ourselves and I'd love to hear what has brought you joy and peace over the past year too.

Mabon blessings to you all :)

Ellie